Before Learning why should we Love ourselves, Let's know what self love is :
When we talk about self love we often get confused and we do not understand its real meaning and misunderstand it .Like I give an example whenever we achieve something in our life and feel proud to ourselves, we think its our self love that help us to achieve that thing but think what happen if we can't achieve that thing so what do you think about yourself that time. .........THINK.........
If you think i’m so bad or unlucky that i could not achieve that thing and start defaming yourself or calling yourself bad then this means that you are wrong about self love.
But instead of this if you truly love yourself then no matter you fail or pass.You must be so confident that you can get this thing many times in future
Self love is a basic feeling, which each one of us need to have.
Loving yourself is important, because the only person who can love you unconditionally, accept you with all your flaws and misgivings and forgive you no matter what, is YOU
. All these feelings come from blaming others and not taking responsibility for our experiences. Whatever is happening out there is only a mirror to your inner thinking. So if you think you are ugly, not good enough, worthless, don't expect the world to convince you otherwise.
While if you are positive, if you accept yourself, if you approve of yourself regardless of your mistakes, then the world would do exactly the same.
The Course in Miracles says that all conditions of sadness, come from a state of unforgiveness. When we really love and accept of ourselves exactly as we are, everything in life works. Our health improves, we attract more money, our relationships become more fulfilling and we begin to express ourselves more positively. The more we love ourselves, the more the world seems to be drawn to us.
We say 'I love You' to so many people, to our parents, our best friends, to girlfriend,
How many of us can stand in front of the mirror , look into our eyes and say loudly and clearly ' I LOVE YOU' 'I ACCEPT YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE'
I know many of us don't do this
I would burst into laughter, or shy away or refuse to see that face in the mirror. Even if I said it , I would be thinking , what stupidity is this.
See ? Here I was saying I love you to so many people around me, but when it came to me, I could not believe Iam worth loving. I could not believe Iam capable of loving myself.
And yet I would spent nights thinking 'why they ignoring' or 'she didn't love me' or 'they hate me'
Who was to blame here?
Self criticism and Self improvement are entirely different entities.
Self criticism is constantly berating yourself and being resistant to change. For instance , you are obese and you have big pock marks on your face. You look into the mirror and constantly say you are fat, you are ugly, you have to be thin! You have to be pretty! Because the world will hate you!
Well the world would definitely hate you, not because you are fat or ugly but because you have started hating yourself.
And trust me, this hatred will turn you to worse things, binge eating, surgical procedures to shed weight and total devaluation of your self confidence.
Whereas, self improvement is a part of loving yourself, where you accept the fact that you are fat but you love yourself no matter what.
And since you love yourself so much, you do everything that is needed to keep your body healthy, including running and eating the right kind of food, without actually bothering what anyone thinks of you.
The point is if you decide that you will stand by yourself , no matter what outcome of a particular situation will be, there will be no fear, no insecurity, no guilt and absolutely no resentment.
Because you have taken your fate into your own hands, you have decided to take responsibility for everything in your life be it relationships, be it jobs, be it your obesity, be it your health issues and you have decided that whatever the result will be, you are going to be fine.
Because you know nothing bad can happen in your world, there is no room for negativity, and you have your back.
It's all about letting go, letting go of fear, letting go of sadness, letting go of pain.
You are ready to release all bad, pathetic, needy emotions to the universe and what remains within you , is love ,love, love. So much love that you will be fine without any external love from another person.
So much love that you will radiate it wherever you go, and So much love that other people will just mirror that love to you.
I imagine a relationship as a tennis court with partners on each side of the court.
You can only handle your side of the court. You can only be the caretaker of your life, not his.
Yes , people call it selfish and say you should love your partner unconditionally. But does that mean ignoring yourself, neglecting your needs , berating yourself? And if you can't love yourself unconditionally, how can you love somebody else that way?
If you don't value your time, if you don't value your body, if you don't value what your soul needs from you, that means you are subjecting your body to the worst kind of misery.
Sacrifice is a great thing, but only after you have created an adequate space for yourself. So that when it ends, you will emerge as a separate individual and not a dependent , devastated ragged doll.
And the love you give to others, where does it come from? Not from the sky or the stars, it comes from within you.
One positive affirmation I say when everything seems to be going wrong.
'I Love Life and Life Loves me.' ' I have lived and loved' 'I am Healed'..
In next blog we will discuss about how we love ourselves
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About me :-Shakul Sharma (23)
(Btech computer science and engineering)
(Like writing about science, technology, psychology and travelling)
( You can read my previous blogs by clicking below and If you use quora then you can search me there too coz I write on quora too )
